Parentline Plus Chief Executive, Jeremy Todd highlights need for more support for parents of schoolchildren

I was concerned to hear the Association of Teachers and Lecturers union report that four in 10 teachers had faced verbal or physical aggression from a pupil’s parent or guardian. There is no excuse for such abuse and teachers should not have to face this during the course of their day to day work. Hearing this news also brought sharply into focus the fact that more support is needed for parents.

It's crucial that parents and schools build good relationships from the outset, by going to parents' evenings or just requesting a chat with your child's teacher at the end of the school day if anything is concerning a parent. This way parents and teachers get to know each other better and can work together as best as possible for the good of everyone concerned.

However, it is clear that there is also a real need for additional support services for parents of schoolchildren. At the moment, Parentline Plus is delivering work with parents in schools across the country to support schools, teachers and parents to improve relationships and give children the best possible experience at home and at school.

Where we are delivering this work at a local level, for example in Hertfordshire and Hampshire, the positive results for everyone is clear. For example, in Hampshire, parents are feeling more able to discuss their children's issues with teachers in a constructive and non threatening way. Teachers are noticing an improvement in communication between home and school which results in improved behaviour in the classroom and better outcomes for children. Local authorities must be commissioning more of this support for parents so that teachers and parents can work better together for their children.

No teacher should face abuse, but it can be prevented. Our experience shows that parents and teachers can work well together if they are properly supported and resourced. Local councils must resource this properly and parents must not be afraid to come forward for help and support.

Jeremy Todd, is the new Chief Executive of Parentline Plus
Parentline Plus runs a free, 24 hours, 7 days a week confidential helpline for Parents, call 0808 800 2222

Recession Tips

This seems to be the hot topic on the blogosphere at the moment.

We've already been out there to trying to reach parents who are having a tough time through our regional offices, with letters and press coverage in the local media like this:

"Giving families recession help [Newcastle Evening Chronicle]

PARENTLINE Plus feels strongly that family life can be tough enough without the added financial pressures and strains that a drop in household income or unemployment can put on them.

Stress and conflict may increase in some families as a direct result of the squeeze on household budgets. Children may also get anxious about the gloomy economic news and worry about the future for their family. Stress-related family breakdown is expected to increase.

We urge mums and dads not to be put off asking for help because they fear they will be labelled as ‘bad parents’.

In a stressful situation, asking for help is a sign of parenting strength, and parents should be encouraged to access the support available, such as the free and confidential Parentline service we offer 24 hours a day on 0808 800 2222.

Or you can contact our local individual parenting support service in Gloucester which can be accessed by calling (01453) 768 160 and speaking to Jane Windle, our local services co-ordinator, to arrange an appointment.

We have also put together some useful tips on making the most of your money during the recession as we appreciate that the added strain that can be put on families at this time can impact on everyone at home. Visit www.parentlineplus.org.uk/recessiontips

MAUREEN PEARSON, North East Area Manager, Parentline Plus, Lambton House, 10 Lambton Road, Jesmond, Newcastle."

We've had this format letter go out far and wide at a local level but the more support out there for parents, the better things will be. With unemployment set to go over 2 million today, there are a lot of families already in really crisis, and many more who are worried about what is around the corner.

Calling all parents

Here at Parentline Plus we have been working with the Families Need Fathers organisation to find ways that we can improve the ways we reach out to all parents and carers of children.

Here's an article our Area Manager for Merseyside, Claire Andre and Emlyn Jones from Families Need Fathers in Merseyside have written jointly, expressing this commitment to improve our ways of working.

We are in a recession and one unfortunate effect is an increase in family break up. Stress, anxiety and financial difficulties can push relationships to breaking point.

Often mums and dads don't know who to turn to, or who to speak to, when relationships break down. Both parents will want the best for their children but with emotions running high and huge pressures on both partners, children can get caught in the crossfire. Following a joint local meeting, Parentline Plus and Families Need Fathers want to make all parents aware that support is there if they need it.

Parentline Plus operate a 24 hour a day, free and confidential Parentline on 0808 800 2222. We also have a website file://www.parentlineplus.org.uk////oblocked::file://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/ which can be accessed at any time if you prefer online support. Dads often don't seek support, even when they need it, because they are reluctant to speak to someone on the phone or only want to deal with someone who can understand what they are going through.

Throughout the year Families Need Fathers Wirral and Liverpool are available to offer help and support. Monthly meetings are held in the centre of Birkenhead, easily accessible from Liverpool, and details can be found on http://www.fnf-wirral.org.uk/////oblocked::http://www.fnf-wirral.org.uk/ or by phone 0151 651 1712. A national telephone helpline can be reached on 08707 607 496, which operates Monday–Friday from 6pm–10pm.

Relationship break ups can often be very painful, but it is vital that parents know that support is out there for them. Both mums and dads should remember that in difficult times, accessing real support is a sign of parenting strength.

Claire Andre, Area Manager, Parentline Plus
Emlyn Jones, Families Need Fathers, Merseyside

agony aunt in the house!

Not only is the CEO of Parentline Plus visiting the Press Office today - so am i! And who she, I hear you cry? Suzie Hayman, trustee of PLP. I'm a stepmum, now a grannie (a very young one, i do insist!) and a regular spokesperson for Parentline. I'm an agony aunt, a relationship counsellor and a parenting practitioner. And all round general smartarse!



In fact, before coming down to the office this morning i did an interview on BBC Radio Tees on the subject of sibling rivalry. It's funny, because it's one of the few issues i don't have personal experience of - i'm an only child. As is my stepson. and probably, so will be his daughter. But i've done a lot of research into the subject and it is fascinating. Peter has a younger brother and sister, Angela has a younger brother and Sue has a younger sister.



Is there something about Press Offices that means they all have to be the bossy older siblings?? Because one thing shines out about siblings - where you are in the family and whether it's same sex or opposite sex who are above you or below has an awful lot to do with how you react - and who you become. one of the things i was saying to listeners this morning was that sibling rivalry is pretty well hard wired into us. finding your kids feel jealous and competitive isn't a sign of failure on your part, at all. But i suppose you can limit it and manage it, and that's the important thing.



Top tips? Praise and value your kids for who they are, each one - no comparisons, even when they are driving you up the wall and you're longing to scream "Why can't you be like your nice little sister???!!!". And have a think about your own upbringing, because we often follow patterns; if you've had a bad time with a sibling, you may pass that on. Most of all, enjoy them; if you enjoy your kids, they're more likely to enjoy each other!



suzie

Smiling Parents Day

This Friday 27th February is "Smiling Parents Day". With so much negative news around, we thought we'd bring a little cheer to the news agenda. Alpha Mummy has already covered the fact that little kids are funny. We are picking up stories on Facebook and via email that are "laugh out loud" material.

Here is a sample:

• My youngest was feeling under the weather and said he wasn't well enough for school. I took his temperature and was shocked to see it was 43 degrees celsius. I was starting to panic until I realised he had put it in his hot drink thinking I wouldn't notice! Needless to say he went to school that day!
  
• I expected my 21 month old daughter to be as excited about the recent snow as I was. When I showed it to her out of the window however, she turned to me with a very worried expression on her face and said "Oh dear, dear, dear - mess!!" She was obviously thinking of what she could do about this 'mess' and the next time we looked out of the window at the snow, she said "Mummy, hoover!"
  
• We were returning from a Spanish holiday and our plane was coming in to land. After several attempts at landing, the plane was forced to circle the airport to wait for a slot. We were all starting to feel very nervous and tense. The lights started flashing on and off and a female passenger screamed. My daughter Alex, who was 5 at the time, shouted out in all innocence – “Who's messing with the lights?” Everyone laughed, releasing lots of nervous tension and happily, the plane landed safely!

The Facebook group we've set up has led to quite a few emails, and we've got some good local radio coverage to come on Friday morning. What we hope is that this kind of positive story will reach out to a lot more parents.

Our recent online survey of parents revealed that nearly half of parents laugh every day about the antics of their kids. Significantly though, about a third of parents were finding things tough and had little to laugh about. It tends to be at these difficult times that parents will get in touch with us for support using the 0808 800 2222 Parentline.

School's out - how to keep yourself and the kids happy!

'When I was at school, a fair few years back, school terms seem to linger on for ever until finally we got a break from classes with the much anticipated arrival of the school holidays.

Why is it that now I am a parent they seem to come all too quickly! Before you know it, you are having a conversation outside the nursery gates about your plans for the week, and feeling under pressure to have planned an excessive amount of fun filled yet educational activities for the whole week. Then there's the added stress of thinking about juggling work and childcare.

It was actually a relief when the mum I was chatting with at the school gates revealed that she didn't really have any plans, apart from meeting up with another mum at a playcentre one day. The rest of the week she was going to be looking after her sister's three kids as well as her own - now that's sisterly love for you! The thing is, she was happy that her kids and her sisters' kids would be able to entertain each other, without a fortune needing to be spent on family tickets for a day out at the zoo or aquarium.

School holidays can be stressful for parents for various reasons, including juggling work and family life and finding affordable childcare as well as finding ways to keep your kids occupied on a budget, with many families feeling the pressure during the recession. Parents who have contacted us here at Parentline Plus tell us that there are ways of entertaining kids without emptying your bank account. On our website http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/ we have a number of ideas to entertain the kids on a budget, including going to your local swimming pool, checking out activities in the library and organising some good old-fashioned games like hopscotch, marbles or putting on a show. For older kids, it's worth checking if there are any free or subsidised sporting activities in your local community.

When it comes to childcare, you could think about sharing with a good friend and taking it in turns to look after all of the kids while one of you works. There may also be some subsidised multi activity days that can keep the kids occupied and help them burn off some energy. It's usually a good idea to book these things ahead as they do prove very popular.

Another thing parents also tell us is that it's crucial to look after yourself during the school holidays as well, so mum or dad's nerves aren't too frayed at the end of the week! Even taking time for a bath in the evening or to read a book while your partner or a friend or relative look after the kids can be relaxing. More tips on looking after yourself are also on our website http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/.

It's been a funny sort of week. The snow came and caused major disruption across much of the UK.
I recently heard a mother of two and magazine editor talking on the radio, describing how she and her husband couldn't get into work because of the bad weather and so they spent the day building snowmen and playing snowballs with their children instead. She was delighted to have been given permission to have a day off from the usual rigours of life.
I laughed when my 10-year-old son turned to me and my husband on Monday night and asked if he could go outside in the dark to play in the snow, throwing in the great line that 'I might not get the chance again', since we don't seem to have had a lot of snowy winters during his childhood. You have to admire that determination, and he ended up making a pretty impressive snowman, much to the delight of my two young daughters who watched from the comfort of the dining room window!
In a week when the issue of how we raise our children and whether or not they are happy has been in the spotlight, as it often seems to be, it's good to hear of kids enjoying themselves with the simplest of pleasures - playing in the snow. It's also good to hear about fun things for the kids to do that don't leave a heavy dent in your purse!
Here at Parentline Plus we are in the process of putting together some tips for families to help them cope with the recession, as it's tough enough bringing up a family without the added strains of a squeeze on your household finances.
Anyone wanting help and support on this or any other parenting-related issue in the meantime is welcome to call our free confidential, 24 hour Parentline 0808 800 2222.